


get out of my head and into my spaceship

by reachedthebitterend



Series: the keeper of the galaxy [2]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, slightly angsty, slightly fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 09:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachedthebitterend/pseuds/reachedthebitterend
Summary: alex is stuck at home until michael's hand prints disappear from his neck, to pass the time he plans to steal a space ship
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: the keeper of the galaxy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1384483
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	get out of my head and into my spaceship

**Author's Note:**

> posted on tumblr on 12/28/19

Alex wakes up and sees Michael sitting down on the floor right beside the bed in the Airstream, his back against the closet, elbows propped on his knees, hands dangling in the space between.

“Noah’s dead,” he says voice hoarse, and Michael’s eyes snap to him like he’d forgotten that Alex had a connection with Noah when he died.

His eyes dart all over him, like he’s searching for an open wound.

"Did you-?”

Alex nods his head a little, “Kind of felt like I was being tasered.”

Michael licks his bottom lip, “You get tasered a lot?”

Alex rolls his eyes a little and looks out of the small window on the door to see that it’s daylight.

He sits up at that. “What time is it?”

Michael shrugs a little, “Probably eight. Your phone has been going off like crazy until it finally died like an hour ago.”

Alex looks over to where his phone is and then back to Michael who still hasn’t moved from his spot.

“How long have you been here watching me sleep?”

Michael shrugs a little and looks over Alex’s head and out of the window. “Not that long.”

There is something about the tone of his voice and the way all Alex can feel from him is a muddle of emotion, that makes Alex sit up and take notice.

He sits up carefully, stretching his legs out in front of him, and then turning on the bed, making a face as his left foot touches the cold floor of the Airstream.

“What’s up?” He asks.

Michael exhales roughly looking up at the ceiling and then he turns back to Alex.

He stares at him for a moment, mouth pursed and Alex tries to figure out what exactly Michael is looking for.

“Did you mean it?” He asks, and Alex blinks at him in confusion.

He opens his mouth to ask him what he’s talking about and Michael cuts him off, repeating the question.

“Did you mean it,” he asks and then continues. “When you said that you don’t look away, did you mean that you still love me? Or were you just trying to make me leave the exploding building?”

Alex swallows hard, and he hesitates for a millisecond, and feels doubt, that feels foreign in his mind, and it’s only when Michael’s gaze flickers away from him that he realized that the doubt was all Michael’s.

“Don’t answer that,” he says, and exhales roughly. “It’s not like I can trust anything that you say right now.”

“Why not?” Alex demands, leaning forward a bit to see if he could catch Michael’s eyes, but Michael just closes his eyes looking up at the ceiling.

“Because I’m influencing your emotions,” he says. “You’ll just tell me what I want to hear.”

Alex scoffs because that _really_ doesn’t sound like something he would do under _any_ circumstances, but Michael just drops his gaze to him looking deadly serious in a way that tells Alex that no matter what he says, Michael isn’t going to believe him.

“Then why did you ask?” Alex asks him, feeling a little confused and a whole lot defeated.

Michael exhales roughly and looks back up to the ceiling.

“After Noah dying, and Max healing my hand, and finding Noah’s creepy Rosa shrine complete with a Rosa’s actual body floating in a pod, and listening to both of my siblings telling me that it was time to leave the past behind, I drove for a long time, found myself at the intersection of Port and Main and if I turned to the left, I would find myself at the Wild Pony, but if I turned right, I would be right back here.”

He inhales deeply closing his eyes, “Obviously I came here instead, I didn’t even really have to think about it.”

“But for a moment I considered that maybe-”

“I know,” Alex says before he can go any further. “I know you want something easy and I’m the furthest thing from-”

“No,” Michael says cutting him off. “What happened with Maria has nothing at all to do with wanting something easy or even anything to do with you at all.”

He says the words firmly, looking at Alex seriously, and Alex can feel the truth and conviction pulse inside of him.

“You know what’s easy?” He asks, rhetorically, and Alex swallows hard, unable to look away. “Giving into you. I know _exactly_ what to do to get you in my bed, and you know exactly what to do to make me feel like that’s all we’ll ever be good for. Sex is easy, and you’re the one I’ve had the most practice with.”

He gives Alex a half smirk, before it falls off his face.

Alex is finding it a little difficult to breathe, but Michael’s feelings are still pulsing inside of him. Michael’s just being honest, and it hurts, but he also knows that Michael isn’t done.

“You know what’s difficult?”

Alex inhales a shuddering breath, wanting to look away, but he feels frozen to the spot.

“This,” he breathes, and Alex feels like he can’t. “Choosing to love you. Despite the fact that you might not feel the same way. Every time I feel like it might be time to give up on this, something happens to remind me that Roswell has never felt like home, but you always do.”

Alex exhales all in a rush, gasping as he feels the smooth stone hanging from his neck pulse against his skin, heating up as Michael continues to watch him intently.

He fights down the urge to reach out, licking his lips and shaking his head. He can feel Michael’s conviction at the words and it makes his chest ache.

“Michael,” he starts but Michael shakes his head sharply.

Alex looks away from him, down to his hands clenching. “What do you expect me to say?”

“Nothing,” Michael says. “I just, I can’t lie to you right now, and I’m tired of keeping secrets. And this is the only thing that I’m keeping from you.”

Alex nods his head slowly.

“I love you,” he says and Alex feels the air punched out of his lungs all over again.

The words pulse inside of him and all Alex can feel is how much Michael means them.

“You’re unbelievable,” Alex breathes, turning back to face him.

Michael just shrugs. “Just think about it before you say anything,” he says, making Alex’s brow furrow in response.

“If you tell me you love me, you have to mean it,” he says, and Alex gapes at him in disbelief. “You can’t suddenly decide to take it back for my own good. If you say the words you have to be sure you’re in this for-”

He gasps suddenly and leans forward, pressing his forehead to his knees and gasping.

Alex feels an icy cold sensation sleep through him and he leans forward to touch Michael and Michael sits up, looking at Alex with wide startled eyes.

He deflates suddenly and shakes his head. “I’m so tired.”

Alex nods his head, recognizing that as the dismissal it is and gets ready to go, reaching for his things.

Michael watches him get ready in silence which makes Alex feel both a little antsy and a little hot beneath the collar of his shirt.

He moves to stand up, and Michael gets to his feet as well.

They stand with barely any space between them and Alex inhales carefully. 

“How long-?” He starts and Michael answers the question before it’s out of his mouth.

“A couple of days, a week at most,” he answers and his eyes drop very obviously to Alex’s mouth, and Alex inhales sharply and wonders if this bond bond goes both ways and Michael just doesn’t know it yet.

“Okay,” he says swallowing hard. “I’ll see you then.”

Alex moves to leave, just barely brushing past Michael.

“Wait,” Michael says and wraps his fingers around Alex’s arm to hold him back.

Alex turns to him brow furrowed.

“I need you to hold on to something for me,” Michael says a little urgently.

Alex nods his head pressing his hand down on planet masquerading as a marble hanging from his neck.

Michael shakes his head a little. “That too, but I was talking about this.”

Michael fits his palms around Alex’s jaw and pulls him in close, nipping against Alex’s bottom lip immediately and licking into his mouth. Alex makes a soft sound against his mouth and wraps one arm around Michael’s waist as he pushes Alex backwards into the low counter.

Alex barely manages to get one hand in Michael’s hair before Michael is pulling away, dragging himself back and pressing his back up against the closet.

“I think you should go,” Michael says, and Alex bites down on his lip so that he doesn’t say that that was what he was doing, and just nods his head and moves towards the door.

“Wait,” Michael says again, and Alex turns to face him, and takes a startled step backwards, finding him much closer than he was expecting.

“Promise me you’ll think about it,” he demands.

Alex tilts his head at. “There’s nothing to think about.”

Michael just scoffs shaking his head and taking a step back.

Alex exhales roughly and turns away, walking out of the door.

He doesn’t turn back around until he gets to his car, and Michael is standing right at the door to the Airstream, looking a little lost and more than a little unsure, and Alex feels something like uncertainty fill the pit of his stomach and he bites down on his bottom lip before he opens the car door and gets inside.

*

Alex feels like he’s going to go out of his mind by the time the second day comes to an end. Something is wrong with Michael, something serious enough that Alex feels it like a constant clench in the pit of his stomach, but Michael refuses to answer any of his calls, and then there is the fact that Alex can’t leave the cabin unless he decides to wear a turtleneck and five scarves on top of that to hide the two silver shimmering handprints that had appeared on either side of his neck overnight.

It was getting colder outside, but it was not cold enough to warrant that much clothing.

Alex sits, in the open window ledge, right leg propped on the ledge, left leg hanging outside.

The sky is lightening up, but Alex isn’t really paying attention.

He’s stuck at home for the time being, and he’s no astrophysicist or engineer, but he has nothing better to do than to try and figure out how to get Michael’s home planet from the size of a not so fashionable pendant to the size that it’s supposed to be _without_ throwing the solar system’s natural orbit out of balance, and also without sending the Antarian ecosystem into total collapse.

From what he’s read, out of the information that the Caulfield scientist had found out, the sun shining on Antar was white and brand new, not as hot as the sun shining on Earth, which explained the elevated heat temperature.

So what Alex needed to do was figure out where exactly they were going to put the planet, but for that he needed Michael, so Alex decided to concentrate on something more practical, like, an actual vehicle.

Because while, theoretically, Michael could place the alien console on his truck, his truck wasn’t equipped to take them out into space, but Alex knew of several super secret special fighter jets that could theoretically get the job done.

Alex stares at the planet that he’s holding in his hands, which still seems unreal beyond belief, and watches as the rising sun paints the colors into sharp relief, reds and blues and purples and greens and whites all vivid and bright.

It makes Alex’s chest feel tight, and he gets the feeling that he would do anything to protect it, because he knows that Michael would do anything as well.

He wishes that Michael were there to see it, and he turns his head to side where his phone is resting right next to his thigh, dark and silent.

But he knows it’s useless.

As soon as he thinks it, the phone rings, startling him.

He lets the planet drop, bouncing lightly against his chest as he picks his phone up.

He’s surprised to find Michael’s name flashing at him from the screen.

He answers the phone on the third ring, with a breathless hello.

Michael is silent for a long moment before he clears his throat.

“Talk,” he demands, his voice sounding hoarse, like he’d been crying or yelling.

Alex inhales deeply and then exhales, staring out at the sky.

“I’m making plans to steal a spaceship,” he says, and Michael makes a low interested noise so Alex takes that as permission to continue.

“I’m pretty sure with Maria to pretend to be a damsel in distress and Cam to fly the thing, we should be able to get the Astro Hummingbird, which should be big enough to allow us to go scouting and try to find a place where we can, try to figure out what to do about your planet.”

Michael doesn’t say anything, but Alex can hear his ragged breathing, so he keeps talking, giving him more details on the plans he’s made to actually take the spaceship. It sounds fantastical and something like out of a bad low budget action movie, but with the way his life has been going lately, Alex has no doubts that that is how it would all turn out.

Well, he’s almost positive that he’ll end up getting himself and Cam and Maria, locked up, but he feels helpless, and so he makes plans, even if they have no real chance of working.

Alex trails off when he looks around, and notes that the sun is much higher than it was earlier, meaning he’s been talking for a while.

Michael makes a low protesting noise, and he sounds tired but also like he can’t go to sleep.

“And how do you plan on escaping with a jet? Wouldn’t they shoot you down before you cleared the atmosphere?”

Alex scoffs, “I’m of course going to have an advanced cloaking device that will not only hide us from view, but also mask the tracking signal, making us effectively invisible.”

“Of course,” Michael breathes out, voice slightly teasing. “How could I have expected anything else.”

Alex bites down on a smile, and he feels the waves of drowsiness coming from Michael trying to drag him under. He fights against it, even as he hums low and soothing, encouraging Michael to actually fall asleep.

“Everything okay?” He asks wondering what exactly could be bothering Michael this much, or if it’s just the toll of the last couple of days catching up to him.

Michael makes a low scoffing noise of disbelief, “No, everything is definitely not okay.”

Alex bites down on his tongue so he doesn’t ask Michael what’s wrong, and just exhales, rubbing a hand through his hair, the feeling of hopelessness threatening to overwhelm him.

“What do you want from me, Guerin?”

Michael is silent for a long time before he sighs, and Alex can hear him sitting up wherever it is that he was lying down.

Alex imagines him sitting down maybe on the tiny bed inside of the Airstream, or on Isobel’s couch, scrubbing a hand through his hair, messing it up even more as he tries to figure out what he wants to say into words.

“Do you always sit down on your window sill to watch the sunrise?”

Alex blinks several times at that and then he looks up and around, to see that Michael’s truck is parked right behind of his jeep, and Alex isn’t quite sure how long it’s been there.

“When did you-?”

“Right before I called,” Michael says and Alex stares at him as he moves from where he’d need sitting on the tailgate just watching Alex and moves closer.

“Why didn’t you just come inside?”

Michael’s shrugs and slows down as he gets closer to Alex.

He hangs up the phone, and leans back against one of the wooden beams on the balcony, right across from Alex.

Michael stays silent, letting Alex know that he’s not going to answer the question. 

Alex sighs and puts his phone down right next to his thigh, tilting his head, and trying to see if he can figure out what the hell is going on in his head.

Even with a direct line to his emotions, Alex still can’t figure out what Michael is trying to tell him.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

Michael licks his lips, crossing his arms across his chest and shrugging, looking away from Alex.

“I wanted to see you,” he finally answers, and Alex can feel that he’s being honest, but he highly doubts that that is the only answer.

“Uh huh,” Alex says and raises an eyebrow when Michael turns to look at him again. “Why don’t you try that on someone who doesn’t have a direct line to your fluctuating emotional state?" 

Michael’s eyes drop to Alex’s neck, the marks covered by the loose scarf he’d taken to wearing the last couple of days.

He exhales, letting his hands fall to his sides and he turns back to Alex, taking a step closer and then stopping, like he doesn’t know what he wants to do.

"Max is dead,” he blurts out, which is really the last thing that he ever expected Michael to tell him, but the cold feeling that had taken over the pit of his stomach two days ago, makes much more sense now.

“Fuck, Guerin, I’m so so-”

Michael shakes his head, “That’s not why I’m here.”

Alex bites down on his lip, clenching his fingers to fists so that he doesn’t try to reach out for him, hating the fact that he hasn’t put on his prosthetic yet, and so he can’t just go to Michael.

“Then why are you here?” Alex asks again.

“I told you,” Michael says, and this time he does move closer, close enough that Alex could reach out and touch him. “I came to see you.”

Alex just swallows hard, and nods his head once. “What do you want from me?” He asks, lifting his hands and then letting them drop back down on his lap.

“I just,” Michael says swallowing and then looking around, eyes wild. “I just feel like I’m caught in a never ending whirlwind and the only time I’ve been able to breathe easy was with you, in Caulfield, before the bomb made it all come crashing down, and I just, I need _you_." 

"I’m right here,” Alex says, and Michael makes a low pained sound. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Alex hears the sob catch in Michael’s throat and then he’s staggering across the few feet that separate them, dropping his forehead to Alex’s shoulders, his arms framing Alex’s hips as he pulls him in close.

Alex wraps his arms around Michael’s shoulders and Michael melts into him at the touch, letting out a low sob, muffled by the fabric of Alex’s shirt, and Alex pulls him in closer, dragging a hand through his hair gently, trying to soothe him as much as he can.

Michael whispers low, words muffled, but Alex catches enough to understand what he’s trying to say.

“-lost Max, can’t, _won’t_ lose you too, can’t bear it-”

Alex tugs against his hair, and the collar of his shirt, until Michael drags his face up and turns to look at him, wet eyes blinking open and looking at him, so full of misery that it makes his chest ache.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he repeats, making the words a promise, and Michael stares at him like he wants to believe him. “I promise.”

Michael stares at him for a long moment, before he exhales, nodding his head a little, and dropping his forehead to Alex’s.

Michael opens his mouth to speak, and Alex cuts him off before he can.

“I’m right here,” he says again, and Michael just shudders, closing his eyes and holding on to Alex tighter.


End file.
